Conspiracy Con 2011: In Xanadu Did Kubla Khan/Satanic Mass Decree…

Douglas D. Dietrich is a striking presence. Part Chinese and Japanese, his face is one that you don't forget. If you sent to central casting for an oriental despot, or a James Bond villain, they'd send in Douglas Dietrich.

When you talk with him privately, Dietrich seems a gentle soul, with the antique gallantry of a bygone age. He's a veteran of Desert Storm and Desert Shield, born in Formosa to a Navy family.

I pick up a sense of betrayal behind his history and I ask about it. He feels his father was mistreated by the VA medical system and that the VA denied medical problems Dietrich suffered from his tours of duty in Iraq. This is hardly improbable.

Dietrich is also a compelling story-teller, and his rococo tales of diabolical practices at the highest levels of military power would stand to make him quite successful as a sci-fi novelist, scriptwriter, or graphic novelist. Except Deitrich doesn't present his dark stories as fiction.

Dietrich covers a lot of ground in his rapid-fire presentation. One minute we're in 12^th century Japan, the next in 1945 Okinawa.

"In 1281 Kubla Khan invaded Japan [with]…over 70,000 Mongol marines armed with the Turkish composite crossbow…There was nothing the emperor could do but get down on his knees and pray to the ancestors. and they… answered. " Dun-de-dun-dun. "That was the kamikaze. The winds on that day were 150 mph and every single man on that fleet died. The Japanese told the Americans 'we can do that again.'"

This is a promising start for an Indiana Jones movie. But, instead of Hollywood-brand escapism, the next hour and a half is a whirlwind roundup of – I'm putting this as plainly as possible – satanic occult practices at the San Francisco Presidio army base, with tangential forays into Roswell and Nazi Germany. Before we're done, we'll make pit stops at the Dresden firebombing, the Holocaust, L.Ron Hubbard, and that noted Satanist Sammy Davis Junior.

Dietrich's central focus is Lt. Col. Michael Aquino, who, he says "served most of his time in Vietnam in his satanic chaplaincy…[and]wrote the diabolicon, a series of quatrains that were channeled through Lt. Col Aquino [via] seven demonic spirits."

I wonder what you call it when storytellers fail to distinguish between themselves and their stories. I don't mean to be flippant.

There's a pattern here that suggests something neurological. Conspiracy Con presentations share two characteristics: First, they're vast, unorganized data dumps. Second, individual sentences (the datum) have the outward characteristics of being statements that communicate information, but on examination are empty of content.

For example here's once-and-future-dentist Lennie Horowitz:

"It is the amount of disinformation and fear that undermines our ability to act …I know for sure that on the spiritual plane they're regulating the church of Satan through the Rothschilds. They're acting through infiltrators. And these infiltrators may not even know themselves that they are acting through MKULTRA. That's the only way I may be able to know that you are mind-controlled."

Or this from galactic historian and UFO abductee Stewart Swerdlow:

"The Illuminati are at the top of their food chain. It doesn't really matter who's in control…It's who allows them to be in control. If everybody takes responsibility for themselves and eliminates the piece of what they're projecting, the illuminati will have no power over you and will disappear from the face of the earth forever."

Or try this from chemtrail theorist Sofia Smallstorm:

When we look at an organization called MITRE, .you go to their website, and their mission is to set the goals and the template for the…IRS….and they contract with operation cloverleaf… and if you google USA today for  May 12…the reporters talk about a thousand particles on the head of a pin….Get those letters and know those individuals. Those are the cross directors of the enemy we have to deal with today."

Or this from self-described former Illuminati witch Doc Marquis (who suffers from the misfortune of an Elmer Fudd-like lisp): 

"Plans are in the making between 2013 and 2018….2012 is the smokescreen [he says "smokescween"]. I have fought over releasing this piece of information. What if on or about December 21^st 2012 the usurper in the White House, who is a Muslim, is assassinated by a Jew…Everyone in the world would literally get involved. This is part of what may or may not happen."

Granted, I can't write fast enough to catch all the words, but, if anything, my redacted versions are more comprehensible than the originals.

But while I'm trying to capture this dizzying spectacle of flying information shrapnel, a war is brewing behind the scenes between conspiracist icons anti-vaccine crusader and former dentist Lennie Horowitz and shock-u-mentary maker and catastrophist Anthony Hilder.

Illuminati Beware: Preeminent Gathering of Conspiracy Theorists Celebrates its 10th Year in Santa Clara

The annual conspiracist mind meld, Conspiracy Con, celebrates its 10th birthday – and 10^th year in Santa Clara – on June 5 and 6 at the Santa Clara Marriott.

Conference organizer Brian Hall, describes the event as "a forum for… the most controversial speakers in the world," on "Mind Control, Secret Societies, Shadow Government, The Federal Reserve, 9-11, Occult Technologies, Suppressed Knowledge, New World Order, etc."

Even including, Hall continues ominously, "the manipulation of humanity by non-human intelligences...alien, inter-dimensional, demonic, satanic... operating on (and in) this planet, that looks upon humankind as sheep and cattle to be herded and slaughtered at will."

This jeremiad seems surprising coming from the preppy 30-something Hall, a Livermore resident who looks more like a Young Republican than the eminence grise of contemporary American conspiracy theory.

Indeed, Conspiracy Con's success is likely due more to Hall's talent for business administration – and friends in the event-planning business "who held my hand" – than his knowledge of secret cabals. Hall chose Santa Clara for Conspiracy Con for many of the same reasons the 49ers give for wanting to build a stadium here.

"The cost is less and right along there is hotel row," he ticks off methodically. "There are great convention services. It's much closer for me [than San Francisco] and it's much easier to get to. It's very close to the airport."

(This is invariably disappointing to those who expect the city to be a vortex of cosmic power, or the Illuminati's home away from home. Although -- hat tip to blogger Adam Gorightly -- I bet if you plotted it on a map, you'd find that the Santa Clara Marriott sits at the mystical center of secret Kabbalistic geography connecting the Rosicrucian Museum, Winchester Mystery House, Santa Cruz Mystery Spot, proposed 49ers stadium, and the CERN super-collider in Geneva.)

Anyway, Hall's business acumen paid off. The conference draws hundreds every year and features a veritable who's who of the contemporary conspiracy scene.

Past guests include George Noory, host of the popular all-things-conspiracy radio talk show Coast to Coast a.m.; 9-11 Truther movement founding father Richard Gage; and memory-recovering, MK-ULTRA sex slave Cathy O'Brien. This year's lineup includes host of the syndicated late night cult film TV show Cinema Insomnia, Mr. Lobo (www.cinemainsomnia.com).

Hall is vague about what exactly he did before starting Conspiracy Con – "not a heck of a lot." More to the point is what he calls his "waking up journey," which began 15 years ago and culminated in launching Conspiracy Con.

"Some friends showed me some materials that went against everything I had been told. It made its point well enough to [make me] look further.

"There are things going on here right under our noses that are much more serious," he continues. "What is commonly known as the global elite. Are they connected? Is there a conspiracy? No one was putting on a conference on the research, to generate awareness."

ince then, Hall has been a man with a mission. "I see a great imbalance on this planet that gets greater every year. From Kennedy [assassination] to 9-11 and beyond, it will lead to the same people: the people that have manipulated human events for eons." Getting the message out, Hall says, "is the most important thing I can do."

Conspiracism's All-American Pedigree

Conspiracism is as American as the proverbial apple pie, according to Professor Jeff Pasley who teaches Conspiracy Theories and Conspiracies in U.S. History and Culture at the University of Missouri.

"For example, one thing that was widely believed [before the American revolution] was that the British were going to force Americans to become Catholics, based on Quebec's act tolerating Catholicism," Pasley explains. "[This was seen] as the first step in the plan to Catholicize America."

Conspiracy beliefs also use the language of enlightenment, "exposing truth by gathering proof," Pasley explains, while neglecting the rest of the scientific method – experimentation, data collection, analysis, peer review, and retesting.

The age of mass media adds fuel to the conspiracy fires, says Pasley. People have access to a lot more data, but their powers of analysis haven't grown to match it. "Most people's idea of weighing evidence is, 'It's hot today so it must be global warming,'" he says.

The flaw here isn't in the conclusions. Human beings do, in fact, engage in conspiracies; for example, Watergate. The flaws in our global warming conclusion are classic reasoning fallacies: questionable correlation and unsupported assumption. A further problem with conspiracism is un-testability: Contrary evidence is just evidence of a cover-up. For example, the reason you don't agree with me about the reality of global warming is that you're manufacturing the evidence to discredit me, you're just revealing yourself as a tool of the puppet-masters, etc.

Of course, conspiracy theorists have no monopoly on fallacious rhetoric. Politics inspires it in spades. Consider for example: "Dolores Carr: Supported by law enforcement. Jeff Rosen: Supported by bail bondsmen." (Questionable correlation, unsupported assumption, loaded words, impugning motives).

This ad doesn't tell me anything about Rosen, but it does tell me one thing about Carr. Namely, that she's a lawyer, judge and District Attorney who's willing to put her name on this mean-spirited propaganda. It's enough to make me vote for Jeff Rosen, but that would be another questionable correlation: Because Carr runs an ad that I find ethically questionable, therefore Rosen would be a good DA.

Where was I?

Oh yes. In the final analysis conspiracy theories don't stand up to pragmatic test that the best 

explanation is usually the one requiring the fewest unsupported assumptions. In other words, if you hear hoof beats, it's probably horses, not zebras.