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| Artist rendering of "Garden of Eden" development concept |
Overview: A proposal for 197 million square miles of
parkland with newly created life forms. 75 percent of the site will be covered
by water. Agenda report: www.heaven.gov/heavenbase/view.aspx?cloud.
The project is self-sufficient, where "plants"
convert sunlight and "molecules" of "carbon dioxide" and "water"
into "nutrients" and release "oxygen" as part of the chemical
reaction.
"Animals" eat the plants to get the nutrients,
releasing carbon dioxide as a byproduct of the "combustion" of the
nutrients for "metabolism." "Weather" is a complex process
whereby water forms vapor clouds that release "rain" on the park to
return water to the "ecosystem."
The Garden will feature many different environments
("climates") that each will feature their own distinctive plant and
animal life. Since the life forms will be native, after the first planting,
they will be self-reproducing and maintaining and require little or no active
gardening.
Resident Angel Eyeore:
I don't know about all that water. How are you going to guarantee that
there won't be any flooding?
Resident Angel Oscar the Grouch: I have lived in this heaven
for 45 years. It used to be a nice place, where everybody knew everybody else.
Now you're proposing to make all these "humans" who can reproduce,
according to the EIR, every couple of years. That's going to mean high rise
apartment buildings, which will ruin our community, and there will be crime and
red cup parties and cruising in cars—
Chair A. Michael: Thank you for your comments. There are no
such things as cars. Next.
Resident Angel T. Frothingill Bellows: When are you
archangels going to stop acting like you're so high and mighty and better than
the rest of us? This is another one of those backroom deals where you guys
think you can take our heaven and give it to the big moneybags gods over on
Mount Olympus so they can turn it into their own little playground.
Resident Angel Debbie Downer: I have a very serious lung
condition, and all the flowers and pollen — not to mention the methane gas that
these "animals" will put into the air as a result of this thing
called "digestion" — will be very detrimental to my health. When we
moved to Heaven from Mt. Olympus ten years ago, we thought it would be a place
where we could have a healthy life without Zeus' noise and smoke pollution. Now
you're taking about building a giant garden that will make the air toxic. When
are you going to listen to the people instead of just the big gods —
Chair A. Michael: Thank you. Your two minutes are up.
Olympus Resident Angel Rufus T. Firefly: I have nothing
against gardens. Even though I live on Mount Olympus, everyone here knows that
I have done more for gardens in the tri-heaven area than anyone. But this is
the wrong garden in the wrong place. Heaven needs to bring in some real experts
in earth-making to re-imagine the visioning of the conceptualization of this
creation-making in the multiverse geospatial zone. And Archangel Lucifer,
you’re doing an awesome job.
A. Lucifer, preening: You too, Rufie.
A. Bellows: You're hearing overwhelmingly the citizens DO
NOT WANT a garden. For once put your money where your mouth is and represent
the citizens of heaven instead of the big gods. This doesn't fit. Stop putting
things where they don't fit. A lot of these animals are butt-ugly. Put them in
your own backyard. Go put it on Mount Olympus or Valhalla. For once can't you
hypocrites represent the citizens of heaven? Stop representing the big gods.
Chair A. Michael: Angel Bellows, this is my first warning.
You've already had your chance to talk.
A. Bellows refuses to stand down: This is a free heaven. The
first amendment says I can say anything I want. So screw you, Mike."
Chair A. Michael: There is no first amendment and won't be
for another 4,789 years. And there is no second warning.
A pillar of fire appears and consumes A. Bellows. The Garden
project is approved in a unanimous motion, with an amendment from A. Lucifer requiring
deed covenants that garden residents cannot convert their tree canopies into
extra bedrooms.
